


Control

by Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness



Category: Holby City
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 22:19:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18882367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness/pseuds/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness
Summary: Lofty begins to worry about how he looks and reads an article about healthy eating. When he suggests it to Dom, Dom is very half hearted about it, but implies Lofty could do it to look better. Lofty begins making changes, which upset Dom who begins to feel that Lofty is controlling him just like Isaac. Will it push Dom over the edge or will Lofty fall into a self hatred?





	Control

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sa1989](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sa1989/gifts).



Written for a request by SA-1989 on Tumblr with the following:

Then can I request a fic where lofty wants him and dom to eat healthier  
But dom freaks out because isaac did the same thing. 

I hope I've done it justice. 

This was written on a phone, as I have no working laptop at the moment and my stories are not always as well written on a phone. So any big errors let me know 

Control (noun) The power to influence or direct people's behaviour or the course of events. 

"Dom, I was reading an article the other day about healthy living, and I was thinking about trying it. Like stop taking lifts at work, stop eating foods like pizza and pasta or getting unhealthy things from Pulses. What do you think?" Lofty said glancing at his husband  
"Well it's up to you, You could go to the gym to lose weight and tone up" Dom said in conversation "Never hurts to look better"  
Dom got his things before turning to kiss Lofty, completely missing Loftys look in the process  
"Thanks for lunch, I'll see you at handover"  
Dom left for work, leaving a slightly insecure Lofty in he's wake. Did Dom really suggest he should go the gym to look better? 

Dom arrived home after work, slightly disapointed he's husband was working tonight, he didn't like sleeping in bed alone anymore. He sighed deciding to have a beer and some snacks before bed. He could find neither. He was too tired to head to the store, groaning and remembering what's his husband had said that morning, he sighed, got himself some water and piece of fruit before going to bed. He'd talk to Lofty in the morning. 

The next evening it was Lofty's turn to cook. Normally there was a carb delight, something with creamy pasta or lasagna. Dom eagerly arrived home to smell something unusual, it didn't smell like pasta nor anything remotely with carbs.  
"No pasta tonight?" He asked his heart dropping for a second  
"No, I thought I'd try something else, Dylan told me about this chicken I can do. So we've got chicken breast in a chicken stock with mushroom, onions and garlic and left in the oven to slow cook. Served with vegetables. He says its really good" Lofty said distracted looking at the piece of paper that most likely had hand written notes about the recipe. Dylan was a stickler for details.  
"Since when has he been an expert?" Said Dom "To be honest I was looking forward to a carb fest"  
"We can't keep eating things like that, it's not good for us, especially in the evening before bed. Too heavy. I'm sure this chicken is good. Dylan can be a fussy cook so it must taste good"  
"Sure" Dom said moodily going to he's room to get changed.  
Lofty served the food and Dom ate it. He didn't like it much to be honest, but didn't say anything for fear of upsetting his husband and to be honest not many things made him sadder than upsetting his husband. 

Lofty made lunch for Dom the next day. Dom looked at it thoughtfully, but didn't have a chance to check what it was until lunch time. A grilled chicken breast, with a small helping of wholemeal pasta and a salad. Essie glanced at it  
"That's different" She commented  
"Yeah, Lofty's on some health kick drive and is dragging me along for the ride" Dom moaned "He's removed all the fatty food and drinks from the cupboards, when he cooks its all healthy, no beer as its too fattening, no sandwiches with crisps for lunch. I mean I get he's trying to be healthy, but I don't really care"  
"He obviously does, he cares about you too. Maybe he should have spoken to you first" Essie said diplomatically  
"I mean, if he wants to lose weight, that's fine but I don't need to lose weight right? I mean he did kind of speak to me, but I thought it was about himself not me"  
"Maybe Lofty doesn't feel good about himself and wants to make himself look better, and as he cooks most of the time, he's trying to make you healthier so he's only cooking one meal"  
"Controlling what I'm eating?" Dom said  
"Have you spoken to him about it?" Essie asked reading into what Dom was implying  
"Of course I have, he just didn't listen" Dom said dismissively  
"Maybe try again" Essie encouraged. 

Dom didn't eat his lunch and left it in the fridge with the intention of taking it home. He forgot of course. When Lofty arrived for he's shift to find Dom's uneaten lunch, he began to worry whether Dom had eaten. Dom had gone but Sacha was just finishing off  
"Sacha, has Dom eaten today?" Lofty asked concerned  
"He had he's lunch break, Essie said something about them going to Pulses for some kind of fancy sandwich thing"  
"Oh, OK thanks" Lofty said disheartend but opting to have the chicken and salad for his break. 

When Don arrived for handover, he had brought he's own lunch (A sandwich, a packet of crops, an apple and some nutty munch bags)  
"Did you enjoy the chicken salad?" Lofty asked  
"To be honest, I wasn't in the mood for it. It was a long morning" Dom answered truthfully eyes cast down slightly "Essie wanted someone to have lunch with down at Pulses"  
"Oh, well OK, you could have said. I ate it last night" Lofty said  
"Well that's good." Dom answered "Look I'm sorry I just, wasn't up to eating healthy OK?"  
"Fine" Lofty said picking up his things and leaving "See you at home"  
He left without kissing Dom. Dom watched him walk away, slightly nervously. No wait. He remembered this was Lofty. Not Isaac. Lofty wouldn't hurt him, would he? 

It was 4 days later when things came to a Head. They'd been avoiding each other on other shifts and Lofty had stopped making lunch for Dom. Dom had picked up he's noraly habits, but felt himself oddly upset at not eating Lofty's lunches, which didn't make sense as he didn't like the new healthy lunches. Dom hadn't enjoyed he's healthy lunches that much and Lofty knew he'd been avoiding the meals and dinners with work as an excuse.  
"I've made beef stew" Lofty said when Dom arrived home  
"Great" Dom said with false cheer  
They sat down to eat, neither speaking. Once the meal was over Lofty noticed Dom hadn't eaten much  
"Didn't you like it?" He asked  
"Beef stew just feels... I don't know old" Dom answers  
"Old?"  
"Yeah like things our parents would cook"  
"Well I am an old soul" Lofty answered  
"I went to Pulses for lunch today, they have a new wrap which tastes disgusting even worse than the hospital cafeteria food" Dom answered  
"So what did you have?" Lofty asked  
"Tuna mayonnaise crunch from Greggs. It was divine" Dom said  
"Sounds it, are you planning on going to the gym later?" Lofty questions  
"Why? To work off a baguette?" Dom answers  
"Just exercise, I'm going for a ride later" Lofty says quietly  
"Let's order take away tomorrow. We're both off. You can pick it up on the way home. My treat"  
"Take away, don't you think you've had enough of heavy food?" Lofty tried diplomatically "The Chinese place on the corner has Brocolli and chicken with boiled rice. Sounds good. Should I pick that up?"  
Dom looked at Lofty  
"Would you stop doing that!"  
"Doing what?" Lofty answered  
"Trying to control everything I eat, your becoming just like him"  
"Like who Dom?" Lofty said confused  
"I considered it but there health food tastes boring and the amount of calories in a sandwich...i don't think we should be eating" Lofty answers  
"Why are you saying we're getting fat?  
" No, I just think we need to eat healthily... "  
" We work 12 hour shifts... "  
" Which messes with our body clock, add in nights and how unpredictable our meal times are, which means we are more likely to gain weight and become fat... I mean you don't even go the gym anymore "  
" Because I don't need to, do I? " Dom asked  
" Why don't you go to the gym anymore? "Lofty enquired  
" Becuase I want to come home to my husband, why do you think I should go? Are you trying to tell me I'm fat or trying to control what I eat? I don't need you in my life "Dom said he's voice rising in level  
"Look I'm just upset. You haven't eaten the lunches I've packed for you"  
"They are bland and boring. Stop trying to control everything"  
"I don't want, I'm just worried about our health, your health. You're a doctor on your feet, long shifts, unpredictable breaks..." Lofty listed  
"I've been doing fine on my own" Dom argues  
"How many muffins have you had this week? How many snacks?" Lofty questioned  
"I was hungry" Dom defended "How would you like it if I controlled what you ate?"  
"You can cook if you like, but I just can't have lots of carbs and fat and sugar anymore" Lofty said  
"Then don't, but stop controlling what I eat"  
"I'm not... Controling" Lofty tried to argue  
"You cook dinner and lunch, moan when I don't eat your lunch, I'm stressed I don't need meal times controled"  
"I was only trying to help" Lofty answered softly  
"I was thinking maybe we could join a gym together"  
"Really? Be one of those couples?" Dom says  
"Look Dom.. You said I could lose weight and tone up and that's what I want to do"  
"When did I say that?" Questioned Dom  
"A few weeks ago" Lofty answered  
"God your just like Isaac, you've got to stop controlling everything I eat! Just because you have no self control doesn't mean I don't. Your becoming just like him. He tried to controlled what I was eating, how often I went to the gym, eating healthily. He removed all the snacks and unhealthy things from the flat. This is only the start. Next thing when we go out dinner, I'll want something carby and you drop the gentle barbs about.hoe.wouldnt I prefere something leaner? I mean you have surgery tomorrow. You don't want to be over full. Or beer. Is it wise to be drinking? You've surgery tomorrow, you don't want to make any mistakes or even my favourite one when I am thinking about dessert, have you noticed your side of the bed dips more than mine? Maybe we need a more sturdy mattress oh and let's not forget going to the gym, so you can bulk up and God your muscles would be amazing to touch in bed"Dim finished getting louder and louder with each word.

He took a moment to look at Lofty, before he noticed Lofty's pale face, the sweat on he's brow before he bolted and Dom heard retching in the bathroom. He gave Lofty a few minutes before checking on him, to find Lofty scrub along he's face in the Mirror, he's hands tangled in his hair, almost like he was trying to tug at it  
"I'm not like him I'm not, I'm not, I'm not" He said repeatedly in the mirror appearing not to notice Dom in the doorway. Dom looked closely to see Lofty eyes wide with fear, he's face still pale and shake hands clinging to the sink. He heard the deep and envent breathing of Lofty trying to get he's breathing under control  
"Are you hurt?" He asked quietly in that moment taking in the seriousness of the situation.  
Lofty held up a finger before collapsing in the corner, head in hands. Dom hesitantly stepped forward.  
"Hey, it's OK" Dom said dropping in front of Lofty keeping he's tone soft "Come to the lounge"  
He gently held out he's hand, Lofty kept trying to back further into the corner. Dom stopped and waited, knowing that he couldn't reach Lofty at the moment. He was very worried about what could have brought this on.  
"I was only trying to help" He spoke in a broken voice "Trying to keep healthy, keep us healthy, I mean I know I'm not much to look at, but I was trying and I thought, I thought..."  
"What are you talking about?" Dom asked listening to Lofty's babbling with concern. 

Lofty stayed silent before seeming to come out of the cocoon he'd built himself  
"I need a drink" He said getting up  
Dom gave him space and followed at a distance before he saw Lofty pour himself a large glass on water and sit on the sofa. Dom followed sitting a respectful distance, he's anger had simmered and was now very below boiling point. He was more worried about he's husband.  
"I'm not him" Lofty maintained softly looking AT Dom's eyes for reassurance. Dom looked at him carefully  
"I know" He answered echoing those words from the year before. He knew that Lofty wasn't like Isaac.  
"I'm, well, OK... This article I read said we needed to think about what we are eating and it's true. We used to have lots of creamy pasta dishes, big meals with meat and potatoes, snacking throughout the day on crisps, chocolate, Fanta all of which are unhealthy in the large quantities we had then, then when I spoke about healthy eating, you sguuested I could lose some weight. Dom I don't look as good as you, I don't, I don't actually like my body, too much stomach, to much fat, over the BMI scale... "  
" Lofty, you know that scale is unreliable at best"  
"I just, I honestly just wanted to lose weight, I didn't, I didn't mean for you to think I was controlling you, I just wanted to help. They always says it's easier if couples eat healthily together to support each other"  
Dom looked at Lofty and sighed  
"I wish you'd told me that at the beginning, Isaac was very controlling. He slowly wormed he's way into my life and I honestly thought he was the best person ever. Later in our relationship, he, um, became more controlling. Digs at my weight. Digs at my food. Weights and a Huncho calender, clearly telling me what he wanted..and I fell for it for a while, I mean I had the 'perfect' guy, he knew what he was talking about, I was, I was so low and I really thought he loved me"  
" Dom, your body is amazing" Lofty said whole heartedly "After we slept together, I literally couldn't stop thinking about how toned you were, how smooth you skin's is, those muscles, I was just worried about your health, you were gasping after climbing those stairs, you seemed to have less energy..."  
"It happens, OK so I may have been eating more muffins and having a more carbs, it's, it's one way I cope with stress"  
"Im sorry" Lofty said "If you thought I was controlling, truthfully I don't like what I see in the mirror at the moment.."  
"Why?" Dom asked "You are perfect"  
Dom said moving into Lofty's personal space "You're not too skinny, nor too fat, you have amazing arms that hold me, you don't need to change."Dom said while heartedly.  
" Guess we messed up again huh? "Lofty said quietly  
" We are getting better" Dom said quietly "I'm sorry, I know your not like him really, I just got a little freaked out about everything"  
"So where does ths leave us?" Lofty asked  
Dom thought for a second  
"We have one take away a week, whatever we want, one night for a carb feast, and the rest of the time we find new ways to cook food, find things like Light beer maybe, but we do it together, eat healthy so we can be arguing about the last custard cream when we:re old"  
"Can we keep a bag of treats?" Lofty queried "Just treat size ones"  
"Yeah, I think that sounds good" Dom answered holding he's husbands hand gently  
"Come on, let's go to bed... So I can show you, how truly beautiful you are..."  
"Then I can show you?" Lofty questioned rising from the sofa  
"Definately" Dom asked leading Lofty to the bedroom.


End file.
